


Rain Rain, Go Away

by LannPaige



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Happy Ending, Insecure Morality | Patton Sanders, Light Angst, Mentions of Deceit - Freeform, Platonic Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-04
Updated: 2019-03-04
Packaged: 2019-11-12 00:36:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18000452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LannPaige/pseuds/LannPaige
Summary: Cold rain rapped against the sliding glass door.It wasn’t what Patton wanted, but he couldn’t get it to stop.Patton isn't feeling like his happy pappy self. The rain outside his room reflects that and he knows it. Instead of facing his emotions, though, Patton broods. Then Virgil appears. The anxious side's arrival and subsequent conversation urges Patton to share his feelings. The problem is, part of him believes sharing these will manifest his fears into a crippling reality in which the rain will never go away.





	Rain Rain, Go Away

**Author's Note:**

> This story takes place after the events of “Can LYING Be Good??”. I wouldn’t be surprised if a variation of this has been written before, but I’m new to the Sanders Sides fandom, so I haven’t had a chance to read a lot of fan fiction yet.

Cold rain rapped against the sliding glass door.

It wasn’t what Patton wanted, but he couldn’t get it to stop. That’s not how his room worked. It didn’t matter what the weather was outside the mindscape or what mood mask he slapped on his face. What mattered was the mood underneath his skin, the mood that sank beneath his bones, the mood that coiled around his essence and squeezed with all its might. And at that moment, his mood was sadness; a sadness that caused a blistering cold rain which knocked against the transparent panels beneath the gold curtains and white blinds.

Patton sat on his couch, eyes heavy, arms around one of the stuffed keepsakes he placed on the couch so long ago. He wanted to sleep, wanted to forget the world, wanted to close out the feelings that captured his heart, his mind, his body. Instead, he trembled, he buried his lower face against the stuffed animal, and he stared at the curtains and blinds that hid the gray torrents from view.

“Patton?”

The voice came from the stairs. Patton nearly catapulted from the couch. There, standing on the landing he always appeared on, was Virgil. The heavy black under his eyes was deep, strained, and seemed to be smudged around the edges like he’d thought about taking it off but decided against it midway through removal. Patton smiled and tossed the keepsake on the couch, his sadness pushed down, deep down, despite the rain’s frantic blows against the hidden glass.

“Hey Virgil!”

“You don’t have to fake happiness with me,” Virgil said, “I’ve been standing here for a while.”

Patton’s smile waned. “And you didn’t say anything?”

“You didn’t look like you wanted to be bothered.”

“You could never bother me, buddy,” Patton said, his smile back, “You’re always welcome here.”

“Thanks,” Virgil said.

Silence. Patton wanted to fill it with pleasing songs and happiness and joy, but the rain stole that chance. It was loud. Too loud. Patton looked towards it and started to pick at his nails.

“You’re not supposed to do that,” Virgil said.

“Do what?” Patton asked. His eyes and a touch of a smile flicked towards Virgil.

“Pick at your nails. Thomas does that when he’s anxious, so that’s my job.”

Patton looked at his hands. He didn’t stop picking. The nail beds were rough, rugged. So were the nails. The jagged edges reminded him of his heart, of the rain, of the memories that came with it.

“Look, I’m not good at this, so I’m going to just come out and say it,” Virgil said. Patton looked at Virgil again as the other side took a deep breath. “You’re clearly upset. I don’t get the feeling that Thomas is sad about anything, so this mood you have is just you. So…” Virgil shrugged. “If you need someone to talk to… I’m… here.”

Patton blinked. Virgil suddenly looked, almost glared, at him. Patton looked down again.

“Thanks Virgil,” he muttered, “But I’m okay.”

“You’re not.”

Patton hesitated. “… I will be. You don’t have to worry.”

Silence again. Patton looked up. Their eyes locked. Virgil’s near glare was gone, but his eyes were still narrowed. Patton’s heart winced, but didn’t look away.

“I will always worry,” Virgil said, “That’s what I do. Besides, you said you were going to try not hiding what you’re feel, remember?”

“I know, but…” Patton looked down at his hands once more. Memories slipped through his mind: his awareness of the situation, Roman’s dramatic explanation, his serious speculation; his rise into his space, the sound of the restless rain, his rushing thoughts with no grace; his suspicions, his hesitations, his fears. Patton glanced towards the curtains, towards the blinds, towards the spot. His spot. The place he rose in all their spaces. His. It was his. And now it wasn’t. It was alien - touched by a side who’s presence sparked a series of doubts so deep Patton was certain they’d been there before. If he voiced them, would they stay? Would they scar the space that served as his home? Or would they be set free through sound and susceptibility?

“Am I… replaceable?”

The question was so quiet, Patton wasn’t sure he heard it himself, even when it left his own mouth.

“What?” Virgil nearly shouted.

Patton panicked.

“When Thomas was thinking about lying to Joan I wasn’t there. I know Thomas didn’t know Deceit was a part of him, so that makes sense, but Roman told me how you three didn’t know that I was missing until he changed or something, so that means he fooled all of you, which means that he could replace me, and maybe anyone in the mindscape could—”

“Patton, stop.”

Patton shut his mouth. He looked up but didn’t raise his head. The black frames of his glasses cut off Virgil at the neck, but he didn’t have to see Virgil’s face to guess what the other side was feeling. Virgil’s voice hadn’t been angry or bitter. It’d been soft. So soft. It was a tone Patton himself used with Virgil more than once. When he used it, the tone was laced with understanding and compassion. He wondered if that was true for Virgil too.

“Deceit can imitate us, sure, but he can only hold up being one of us for so long,” Virgil said, “I suspected he wasn’t you way before he revealed himself. It may have taken Roman and Logan a little longer, but they did figure out it before the truth came out.”

Patton’s head lifted. Virgil became fully clear. “Really?”

“Yeah, I mean… Deceit showed his knowledge too much and he wasn’t nearly as good with the dad jokes.” Virgil rubbed the back of his neck. “He also wasn’t as nice and he didn’t try to make me feel at ease like you do. He was too focused on trying to get Thomas to lie, you know? So, who you are… it wasn’t there. Just your look. So he can look like you and try to act like you, but he can’t ever replace you. No one can. You’re too… you.”

Patton’s smile blossomed. “Aw, Virgil! That’s sweet!”

Virgil shrugged. “Sure.” Patton could tell Virgil stifled a smile. “I’m gonna go back to my room now. Maybe try not to listen to Roman about this stuff next time.”

“Okay,” Patton said. He paused. “Virgil?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you so much.”

Virgil blinked. Then Patton saw just a touch of a smile. “You’re welcome.”

Patton beamed. Virgil disappeared. Patton took a deep breath, sighed, and looked around.

The sun streamed through the blinds.


End file.
